What do you do . . .
when you’re That Blogger who regularly blathers on about looking for . . .
but you just, well . . . can’t . . . anymore?
I've been trying to figure this out for days now.
I’m usually pretty optimistic and resilient. I have always tended to believe in a better future, that - working together - we can find solutions and make improvements. But these days . . . I’m struggling with how to move forward with even the tiniest bit of optimism.
And I can’t remember ever feeling like this before.
Things just seem so relentless and unending and impossible right now, generally. And this week has simply overwhelmed me. My usual coping strategy is to do what I can to “self-soothe;” to try to bring my heart some sense of peace and ease: Get out in my garden, for example. Pet my dog. Do some yoga. Listen to music. Check in with my kids. Sit in silence. Move my hands. Read some poetry.
On Tuesday night I decided that I just . . . couldn’t post the blog post I’d already written for Wednesday. It didn’t feel “right” to me, at that moment, to natter on about my knitting (or my garden or any of the yada-yada-yada of my life) . . . while all those lives had just been shattered in Texas . . . after all those lives had just been shattered in Buffalo . . . [and so on and so on on and so on].
I realize that life goes on after a tragedy. As it must. When horrible things happen, we need to bear ourselves up and figure out how to move forward. We still need to do our work. We still need to care for our families. We need to feed ourselves and run our errands and generally continue taking care of business. We need to go on living. Even when things are hard, we still need to find joy in our days; to allow ourselves to laugh and sing and celebrate.
But we also need to allow ourselves time and space for silence, to rest and regroup, too . . . if that’s what we feel like we need to do.
So wherever you happen to BE in this process, it’s where you are. And it’s okay. Some of us will continue moving forward and living life as "normally" as we can. Some of us will need to take a break. How we process is how we process, y’know?
So. In this time that feels hopeless, I’m going to offer you this . . ..
Don’t give up.
Keep looking for hope . . . anyway.
Find some calm.
Fortify your heart. Be gentle with yourself.
Do what you need to do. Take a break whenever you need it.
And then . . .
Come roaring back when you're ready.
Donate. Vote. Write letters. Make phone calls.
Learn more about gun rights and gun safety and potential solutions.
Contact your Senators and your Representatives.
Tell them you’re mad as hell, and that you demand action.
I haven't figured out exactly how to keep myself moving forward yet.
These days, it really is a struggle for me.
But I know I’ve got to keep trying.
Hope is out there.
And I'll keep looking for it.
I wish you all a peace-filled and restorative weekend. I'll be back on Tuesday. See you then!