Journaling

Unwrapping: Working It Out On Paper

For as long as I can remember, I have been . . . a documentor. 

As a girl, I kept secret diaries.  As I grew older, I was drawn to journaling.  As a mother, I tracked my kids' daily antics on calendars with big date-spaces.  As a gardener, I maintain detailed notes and drawings in dirt-covered notebooks.  Until recently (when I "went digital"), I documented my entire career in day-planners.  I have kept a family Christmas journal since Erin's first Christmas.  Now, I have this blog.  I'm not sure why, but I am drawn to recording my life.  Documenting my actions.  Committing it to words.  Working things out on paper.

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This stack of journals (each one absolutely crammed from beginning to end) covers the period of my life from 1999 through 2009 . . . about the time I started this blog.

My journals are private.  Not that I write about private matters, necessarily.  No, they're just . . . for me.   My own space.  A window on what's going on in my mind.  My journals are much more than writing, though.  I tape in pictures and cards and quotes I especially like, or mementoes like ticket stubs and program books and postcards.

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I include dreams and goals and frustrations and disappointments.  Plans and hopes and fears and wonders.  I tend to be a lot more. . . grumpy and neurotic. . . in my jounals than I am in "real life."  (Maybe that's because I get through it in my journals?)

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I really do a lot of thinking . . . through writing . . . in my journals.

It's much different (for me, at least) than blogging.   I mean, I'm pretty frank in my blog posts.  I share a lot about my life and my joys and my fears; I think it's pretty clear . . . who I AM.  But.  I'm hyper-aware that this is all public.  That anyone can read it.  That anyone can know me.  So I'm very intentional about what I include in my blog posts. . . and what I don't!

Journaling -- on paper -- offers a release and a "place" that my blog just can't.

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My journaling has declined since I started my blog.  Lately, I've been feeling the pull to begin journaling again - in earnest.  Not instead of blogging, but alongside blogging.

Now, I need both outlets in my life. 

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After all . . . I am a documentor!