Headline News

Headline News

You may remember that a couple of months ago, I explained that my son-in-law is "collecting" silly headlines for a little project.  

I've been passing along goofy headlines to him (even some that y'all have sent me) now and then.  Earlier this week, though, my daughter shared one with me.  Apparently a friend had sent it to Keith, and they thought I'd appreciate it.

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Now I don't know about you, but if I were going to be banned from Walmart, I'd want it to go just like that!  (Living my best life, and all that.)  How about you?

 

 


Headline News

 My life . . . reduced to headlines again. 

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Life comes to grinding halt for 24 hours as local woman prepares to host book group at home.

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Woman credits cookbook maven Ina Garten for highly successful menu:  Reports "We'll be eating leftover Israeli Couscous & Tuna Salad for a week, though."

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Disaster narrowly averted:  wagging tails threaten full wine glasses on coffee table.  No spills reported.

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Book group first:  All members finish book.  Engaging discussion ensues.

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Hostess collapses with one more glass of of wine after guests depart.  Exclaims "I'm so glad that's over."

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Happy Friday.  Here's to a nice and relaxing weekend for all of you.


Headline News - Special Thanksgiving Edition

27/30

Yesterday was a Very Good Day.  But today . . . we are tired.  Let's break it down into headlines.

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Woman Orders 20-pound Organic, Free-Range, Vegetable-Fed, Antibiotic-Free Turkey by Mistake:  Faints at Cash Register

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Family Declares BEST TURKEY EVER!

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Family Matriarch Doubles Mashed Potato Recipe: Quick Thinking Has Her Mixing Them in a Punch Bowl

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Family Dogs Pull Back-to-Back Security Shifts:  Turkey Safe for Another Year

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Gingerbread House Decorating Proceeds As Scheduled:  No Cave-ins or Breakdowns Reported

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Family Declares Black-Friday-Free Day:  No Shopping Planned

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Hope you all enjoyed a relaxing holiday (or just great regular day, if you don't live in the US!) -- without any unexpected headlines.


Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

13/30

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Once again, my week is reduced to headlines . . . 

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Couple Ventures to Men's Clothing Store for New Sportscoat:  We go once every 15 years, whether we need to or not, says husband

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Massive Great Lakes Windstorm Prevents Intrepid Walker From Completing Daily March Through Time:  Even the dogs wouldn't go outside! 

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Windstorm Creates Dangerous Waves on Lake Michigan Shoreline:  Blows All Remaining Leaves to Detroit

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Woman Goes for Annual Mammogram; Reminds Others to Get One, Too!

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Family Dogs Turn Themselves Inside Out With Barking at Racoon Sighting in Front Yard

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Blogger Scraping Bottom Less Than Mid-Way Through NaBloPoMo

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Have a great weekend!

 


Headline News

What if . . . my week was reduced to headlines?

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Couple wins Bells Bash Lottery --  Thrilled to Score Hottest Tickets In Town!

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Disgruntled Swimmer Silenced With Pool Re-opening Scheduled for Saturday
Delays Tax Patience of Club Swimmers

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Guest at First Ever Exclusive Beer Tasting Event:  "I Usually Hate Porters.  But This One is Really Good!"  
Home Brewers Vow to Continue Tasting Events Through Fall

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Wine Sale Saturday:  20% Off
Just in Time, says Local Collector

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Gridiron Action Begins:  Outspoken Local Woman Heard Muttering WHO CARES?

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Hope your weekend is newsworthy!