On Not Starting Any Engines Today

If I were sticking to my usual blogging patterns, today (well, technically yesterday . . . but I took yesterday off) would be the day that I'd try to "start your engines" with "stuff" I thought might be interesting.

Well. Last night when I checked my little "start your engines" folder on my computer, I discovered that in the last four weeks I saved Not One Thing to share with you.
Nothing of note.
Nada.

Which I think says more about my state of mind than anything right now. 

I've been very busy with life, while also trying to distract myself from life. I've been successfully avoiding things that are probably best for me to avoid, but I seem to be carrying that over to also avoiding those things that I really ought not avoid. I'm spending quite a bit of time trying to fathom . . . where AM I and how did I end up in this particular historical cycle? Which means I'm doing a lot of rage-weeding, and finding myself looking forward to that evening glass of wine on the patio . . . perhaps a bit too much. 

So.
If you're looking for some way to start your engine this morning?
You won't find it here today.

But I am determined to find something to start my own.
Because I can't go on this way.
(Vrrrrooooom!)

(I'll just go ahead and file this post in the "Honest Blogging from the Heart" category.)

Comments

[Vera]

Feeling so much the same! Rage weeding is a great term. Bonny's post today about meditating resonated with me and I am bound and determined to try meditation once again. I need SOMETHING to calm my feelings. I'm thinking that today might be a good day to start my engine SLOWLY.

[Carole]

Rage weeding . . . what a great description. I've got lots of rage and, unfortunately, lots of weeds. I just said the other day, I'm tired of living in historic times. Sigh.

[Bonny]

Honest blogging from the heart can be rare, but so helpful to the rest of us that are feeling much the same rage-filled way. I finally had to DO something, so I wrote a post on Friday about actions that can be taken, I participated in a get-out-the-vote phone bank for Josh Shapiro (running against scary Doug Mastriano in PA), meditated, and drank. I've been enjoying one hard seltzer each evening, but I also needed to cut back when I got up to two. (But I will be raising my seltzer tonight to all the rage-filled women.)

[Sarah]

I did some rage-cleaning over the weekend and would have extended that to rage-weeding as well, but the landscapers came through and did it for me. I understand the feelings very well. There's the rage, of course, but also hopelessness and sadness and fear. But I'm also hopeful that because so many of us are feeling these things right now (and not liking it), we will see some real actions -- and I hope it also translates to big turnouts when it's time to vote!

[Carolyn]

I think that feeling is becoming more and more pervasive among the majority of people I know. And maybe that is part of the cycle?? It's getting harder for me to put words to the feeling, I know that, at least. But hey--you've got a good outlet there, rage weeding!!

[Vicki]

I hope that your life cycle starts to even out again soon! It's mayhem around here... I don't even have time to reflect. ;)

[Debbie]

Rage weeding would do me good, but it is 98 degrees with a heat index of 110, and it was too hot for more than short walk early this morning. I'm letting the weeds grow this week, but I will have a glass of wine later!

[kmkat]

You have summed up the feelings of a lot of people in this post. Let's hope there are at least 51% of the voting public that feel as you and I and the commenters do.

[Patty]

Oh was there a simmer at our BIG family party this weekend. Enough so that some younger folks are considering moving out of their current US state. Hopefully there will be a successful boil over soon. (I should have had them do some weeding!)

[kat]

Rage weeding... yep, doing lots of that here! (Okay, in all honest... just lots of plain old raging as well...)

I don't know what the future is going to bring....but I have a new word to describe my feelings about it... FRAGE... yep. lots of Fear and Rage. (Rage seems to be a constant)

I have been staying away from the computer, consuming micro-doses of news, and wondering what county might be good for retirement.

[Dee]

I think I may have been rage knitting. My sock in progress looks a whole lot tighter than the one I made last week. :::sigh:::

What a world, eh? You can't even safely take your kids to a parade.

[Margene]

I've mostly been hiding my head in the sand as my heart breaks. What needs to happen will be up to the younger generation and I know they are up for the fight!

[Jane]

Living in this time and place feels like a roller coaster or sometimes a slippery out-of-control slope. I think most of us feel the like you do. Rage weeding sounds constructive. My faint hope is that this Spring and early Summer is a wake-up call to do better.