Coming into this summer season, I really didn't know what to expect.
Would the pandemic feel "over?" Would we be able to get out and about in more "normal," summer-y ways? Would we be able to gather with . . . people?
And . . . how would that all feel, exactly?
And then, well. Everything just kind of happened at once! All of a sudden, there are places to go. People to see. Things to do.
Life has . . . opened up . . . again.
(Don't get me wrong. You still won't find me in crowds or at a concert or anywhere there are likely to be people of questionable vaccination status, but it all does feel bigger and more wide open again, y'know?)
Right away, early in the summer, I started feeling a bit . . . itchy and sort of stressed out. I had established a routine for myself - a way to get through my days - during the pandemic. And I actually liked it; I was used to it. But, suddenly, that routine was being . . . oh, not really interrupted (although kinda). Just . . . nudged . . . in ways that didn't always feel good. I found I was clutching tighter to my established routine . . . even though I was also adding more people and unexpected - although welcome - events and options into my life. And it was creating a bit of a jumble for me.
Clearly, I needed a shift in my approach.
And my attitude.
I needed to let things go . . . and be more spontaneous.
I needed to . . . go with the (new) flow.
It's not always easy to let things go -- especially when it's mostly (maybe even entirely) self-driven expectations and artbitrary rules. But it's so awesome when it happens. When you let your fingers stop clutching at the dock, for example, and you let go . . . and just bob along with the current.
This summer, I'm practicing spontaneity. Letting myself off the hook more than I usually do. Relaxing into this "new" reality.
I'll tell you . . . Life is easier this way.
Summer is easier.
"Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it."
--- David Foster Wallace