I'm trying not to whine these days. I'm trying really, really hard to look for joy. To maintain my optimism. To be cheer-filled and hopeful.
But. Ugh. It's so hard some days.
(Especially when you get an attack of diverticulitis in the middle of a global pandemic and have to take a 10-day course of TWO antibiotics and can't have even a sip of alcohol for the duration.) (Like . . . not a drop.)
So today? I'm just gonna whine.
Here are three things I miss the most while self-isolating:
1 - My car. This one surprises me. But last weekend, I got into my car for the first time in almost two weeks to deliver some groceries to my Dad (I can't visit, but I can leave a grocery delivery). I got in my car, checked to make sure I had my disinfecting wipes handy, buckled myself in, pressed the START button -- and cried. I guess it's not my car that I miss so much, but the freedom it represents. And how casually I used to just . . . hop in. And take off for . . . anywhere. I really, really miss that!
2 - The gym. This one does not surprise me. I'm working out every day here at home. We have a little gym set up in our basement, and I go on long walks with JoJo every day, and thank-you-Adrienne for your yoga videos . . . but it's just not the same. I miss the equipment and the energy and the discipline that comes with my gym. My phone still reminds me of my gym classes - "traffic is light" (no kidding) - which makes it worse. I suppose I should just remove all those reminders. But I'm not quite ready to let go. (Sigh.)
3 - My art classes. This one doesn't surprise me, either. I don't NEED to have a class to be able to "art" -- and I have space all set up here at home to draw and paint and dabble to my heart's content. But I miss the camaraderie of my classmate and friends. And the structure of going to class and doing the "homework." And I really miss the inspiration of my teacher's tutorials and assignments -- and the work everyone else is doing. And you know what else? I haven't painted a thing since my last art class.
(I'd include my local library, too . . . except I haven't missed it yet. I'm still working through the stack of books I picked up the day before it closed. This might be the only time I've been happy about having all my "holds" become available at the same time.)
How about YOU? What are you missing most right about now?
Note: I almost didn't share this post today. I thought long and hard about just trashing it . . . because I know the things on my list - and probably the things on many of your lists, too - are minor inconveniences in the life of a highly privileged person lucky enough to be self-isolating at home during the pandemic. I know there are people all over the world missing so very much more than trite things like their car, their gym, and their art classes right now.
But in the end, I decided to hit "publish" anyway. I see this blog as another way for me to journal -- to capture and remember what the days are like for me. And today? This is where I am.
In upcoming days, I'm planning to talk a lot more about comparative suffering (something I really learned about while going through cancer treatment), and also suggest a few ways we might be able to help others who are suffering through this pandemic without resources.
Let's just take a breath, support each other (wherever we are) . . . and collectively whine together!