It's early. I'm watching some fog roll in. Listening to the morning bird-joy outside. Drinking some coffee.
And thinking about how this year just isn't going in any direction that I thought it would when I cooked up that hopeful pot of black-eyed peas (way) back on January 1. Picking my new word and setting my intentions for the year ahead. Putting future dates and events and trips on my 2020 calendar. Knowing that there would be some surprises in the coming months (because of course there are always surprises out there), but feeling confident in the overall direction of things, and full of hope for a fresh new year.
We know how quickly that all came off the rails now, don't we?
Back in January, when I first started out with my word (flow), I had some loose notions in mind of how I might frame my explorations . . . as I let my word work that One-Little-Word-magic in me. I figured I'd use it as a springboard for thinking about and engaging with things that. . . well . . . flow. Creativity. Work. Yoga. Movement. Water. Words. The moon. There were things I wanted to learn about and think about and DO. I knew, too, that I wanted to renew my commitment to and strengthen my mindfulness practice. I wanted to be more present. I wanted to listen more carefully to my own heart. To let things go. To be less driven by shoulds-and-oughts. And to be okay with all that.
This morning, as I sat there listening to the birds and watching the fog and sipping from my flow-mug, I realized that EVERYTHING has changed.
Except it also hasn't.
The world has changed, certainly. MY world has changed, definitely. But me? I'm still interested in all those same things I was interested in back on January 1. Things that flow. Creativity. Work. Yoga. Movement. Water. Words. The moon. There are still things I want to learn about and think about and DO. Every day, I'm working to strengthen my mindfulness practice. I'm trying to be more present. I'm trying to listen more carefully to my own heart. I'm trying to let things go, now more than ever. I'm certainly less driven by shoulds-and-oughts. I want to be okay with that.
I've realized that I am . . . still ME.
Still . . . THERE.
Sure. The virus is out there and not going away. The economy is in shambles. Our "leader" is incapable of leading us. (And certainly doesn't want to help any of us.) We're basically stuck in a total toxic dumpster fire.
All that crap, though? I've got to let it go. I have to let it flow around me. I've got to keep moving. I've got to find new ways of doing. Of dealing. Of living. As Virginia Woolf said . . .
And that's where I am right now, here at the end of April in 2020.
Working to stay rooted.
While I let things flow.
How about YOU? What are you learning about your word these days?
You can find my earlier One Little Word posts for the year here . . .
Choosing My Word (January)
Getting Started (February)
Be Like Water (mid-March)
Pushing the River (March)