Beginnings

"Don't die with the music still in you."
      --- Wayne Dyer

After choosing one-little-words for myself for nearly a decade now, I'm still amazed at how these words manifest themselves in my life.  I always discover things about myself and how I experience my world, and each year I look forward to the new lessons I'll learn (teach myself?) by digging in . . . to my newest one-little-word.

The words I choose usually just kind of . . . bubble up.  Some concept or direction starts clamoring for attention in my head.  Or my heart.  And something makes me listen and grab hold.  This year, it was this one:

In the beginning, I always find it helpful to figure out . . . why.  Why this particular word?  Where is the source?  What am I trying to tell myself?  I usually spend the month of January figuring that out.  

So.

Why intention?

It's a concept that's been bubbling up for some time now, actually.  Since dealing with my mom's death a couple of years ago.  And the aftermath.  And going through her things.  And then helping my dad downsize and move.  You see, before my mom became ill and died, my words (shine - surprise - possibility - journey - risk) had really been about finding myself -- reconfiguring the notion of ME . . . post-cancer and post-active-mothering (after my kids launched and left the nest for good).  

After my mom got sick, though, after her death, after the dealing-with-the-details and coping with my own grief, after moving my dad . . . well . . . everything shifted for me.  In a big way.  I mean, thanks to my cancer experience, I'd already come to terms with the fact that life is never certain.  I already learned that our days really are limited.  But there was something . . . even more . . . about the fragility of life that hit me after my mom died.  

My word in the year following my mom's death was balance.  (And, boy, did I need some!)  Once I found my own balance again, I was able to be more introspective.  How was I spending my time?  Where did the days go?  What was I doing (in the words of Mary Oliver) "with my one precious life?"  It was becoming more clear to me that I no longer needed to find myself -- what I needed . . . was to figure out how I wanted to spend my time.  Because days are actually . . . finite. With that in mind, last year I began my in-depth exploration of focus.

Now, at the beginning of 2019, it seems that my new word - intention - is simply a natural extension of my last couple of words.
Balance ==> Focus ==> Intention.

Here I am, a nearly-60-year-old, 10-year-cancer-survivor.  I am hyper-aware that I'm not going to live forever. I know I'm currently experiencing "peak" mental acuity, physical fitness, good health, energy, and clarity of mind -- not of my entire life, mind you, but certainly of what's left of my life.   Sound morbid?  I don't think so.  But it is a bit of a wake-up call.  Yes, I'm only (almost) 60.  I plan to have many, many good years ahead of me, and I plan to make them the best I possibly can.  But. . . finite.

So, I don't want to waste a moment.  But I DO want to . . . 

• make deliberate choices
• act on purpose
• be clear about who I am and why I'm doing
• live less out of habit and more out of intent
• accept aging with grace, humor, and a bit of kick-ass
• live my best life every day

In other words . . . I want to live with INTENTION.

And that's the why of it.

 

 

Comments

[Kat]

This is just incredibly magnificent, Kym! And, YES! I have been spending my time also thinking about the "focus" of my days - and the why of so many things. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful slice of you! XO

[Patty]

Yes to every bit of this. I just told someone the other day that this is going to be the best decade yet. Here's to kicking ass. :-) xo

[Carole]

This is beautiful and could be a terrific manifest for living a fabulous life.

[kathy b]

LOve your post. love your intention ! I do think we can steer our lives a bit by intention and careful attention!

[Bonny]

This is exactly how I've felt since my father died a year ago, and you have put it into words beautifully and honestly. I echo Kat's "incredibly magnificent"! So much so that I wonder if I need to change my word. I initially chose patience because that's always something I want more of, but with feeling like I have lost my voice, I think I might need balance more. Statistically, I can probably expect 12-15 more years (even though I hope for more) and I don't want to squander any of it. Since my MiL's death I've been thinking "I'm next", and that gives living with intention a sense of urgency to me. I desperately need balance, focus, and intention, and they seem so much more important than patience at age 61. I'm going to think about changing my word to balance and what that means for a bit, but whether I do or not, I thank you for this beautiful piece of writing.

[Juliann]

What a thought-filled post Kym. I am realizing that I have been sleepwalking through life and want this to be a year of waking up to all the possibilities.

[Carolyn]

From the teeny tiny glimpse I’ve seen, Kym, you seem not only to live your best life every day—but *you inspire others to, as well*. Thank you for this post; I know I’ll be rereading it.

[Mary]

Beautiful, Kym. as always. thank you!

[margene]

You bring to us, with your focused attention and intention, the exactitude of what you're thinking. It focuses for our eyes on the whys wherefores, and hows of your journey. We can each draw from each of your experiences. I greatly appreciate what you share, the beauty of your journey, and what each word means to you. Every time you post, I learn. Thank you.

[Ann]

Your post today was particularly meaningful to me and I appreciate your insights and that you shared it with us.

[Debbie]

Beautiful ! Thank you for writing this because it pretty much describes what I have been working on since my Mom died three years ago. I am really trying to make an effort to pay attention and live intentionally each and every day, but I find I get frustrated with myself when I don't do that. This really is a journey! What you have written means so much to me, so again, thank you!

[Susan]

Beautiful reflection, Kym, and absolutely inspirational! I have roughly 10 years on you, and the concept of making the most of the health and mental acuity I have now for the years I have left has been on my mind.

I will be rereading this often!

[Honoré]

I think- slash that- know that you have the perfect word and that you’ll live this year and your life intentionally- as you do! Thank you for sharing and helping each of us find clarity in our word choices and to live them with intention. Looking forward to the journey with you!
Cheers ~

[Vicki]

Well, that's just lovely and so perfect. After my mom died -- just a few years after one of my sisters died -- I was all about doing/experiencing ALL.THE.THINGS... if someone invited me somewhere or something new came across my radar, I was all over it. I never said NO. But that was indulgent and decadent and certainly not sustainable (on many levels), so things have definitely shifted and changed. I love this so much Kym!! I get it.

[Chloe]

Rethinking your words, which did not "speak" to me when I first read them. But now I'm thinking it sounds like what you are doing is meditating and that is an age old recommendation for us all. Maybe I need to start doing some of that myself.