A Real Non-Event
On Tuesday I had my annual check-up with my oncologist.
(Of course, I will mark and celebrate these nine years many times over the next several months. Nine years since my diagnosis. Nine years since my "port" was installed. Nine years since my chemo began. Nine years since my first clean scan. Nine years since the end of chemo. Because . . . really . . . there are so many anniversaries to "celebrate.")
Anyway. The appointment.
See you next year!
Other than the appointment being a Big Life Marker . . . it also made me realize something I never-ever imagined possible in those raw-and-shining days just out of chemo . . .
Having cancer is just not something I think about much anymore.
This is unfathomable to me.
I can go days now . . . maybe even weeks . . . without thinking about cancer or treatment or that I had it or worrying that it might come back.
I can hear about someone else (or someone's sister) (or someone's sister's ex-fiance's mother-in-law) (or someone who just happened to be a friend of someone's sister's ex-fiance's mother-in-law) (etc.) being diagnosed with cancer without that trap-door opening and sucking me down into the depths.
I can think . . . I am a nine-year cancer-survivor. And just be grateful for that -- without feeling guilty because of all the other cancer survivors who never made it to nine years.
I can allow myself to trust in a future again, as much as any of us can.
THIS IS A BIG DEAL.
I've passed some huge milestone of "survival" somewhere along the way to nine years. I'm not exactly sure when or where I did that . . . but I did. I'll never kid myself. My experience with a diagnosis of non-Hodgkins lymphoma back in the fall of 2008 changed me . . . forever and for good.
I have no illusions.
I know that every day is a gift.
And that life can change on a dime.
But after nine years . . . I'm grateful that my annual oncology check-up is just routine for me now.
A real non-event.
Yep. I know just what you mean.
Posted by: Bridget | 08/10/2017 at 08:02 AM
As good as it must be to hear "no evidence of disease", it is also incredibly, amazingly wonderful that cancer is no longer in the forefront of your thoughts. Thank goodness for this excellent non-event!
Posted by: Bonny | 08/10/2017 at 08:23 AM
It's such great news for us too...all around! xo
Posted by: Patty | 08/10/2017 at 08:33 AM
You have lived your life as if you were not walking that edge or looking into the abyss. It is wonderful to see you take on life and live it to the the fullest. With your art, your travels, your self-challenges to creating a better life, I see someone who is not afraid to put oneself out there. You seem to have found that balance you've been looking for this year!
Posted by: margene | 08/10/2017 at 09:01 AM
I'm grateful for this non-event in SO many ways. I can't say much more right now or I'll get all verklempt.
Posted by: Carole | 08/10/2017 at 09:13 AM
This is just the most wonderful non-event!! ;)
Posted by: Vicki | 08/10/2017 at 09:45 AM
The BEST non-event. Yay for another anniversary.
Posted by: Vera | 08/10/2017 at 09:51 AM
So happy for you!
Posted by: Chloe | 08/10/2017 at 10:06 AM
I am so thankful for this non-event! And, I wish you dozens and dozens and dozens more non-events. XO
Posted by: AsKatKnits | 08/10/2017 at 10:14 AM
What a wonderful non-event! Yes, each day is a gift and to be celebrated and I wish you many, many more!
Posted by: Debbie | 08/10/2017 at 10:25 AM
Fantastic news! Happiest of happy anniversaries to you!
Posted by: Cheryl S. | 08/10/2017 at 12:34 PM
Congrats and enjoy the celebrating!!
Posted by: shirley | 08/10/2017 at 12:35 PM
What wonderful news. It's so good to hear that you have times when you don't think about the c word!
Posted by: Jo | 08/10/2017 at 12:42 PM
Posted by: Chris | 08/10/2017 at 07:55 PM
Wonderful news, Kym! and making my fingers in the shape of a heart - to wish you many more years of good health!
Posted by: Mary | 08/10/2017 at 08:04 PM
Well, hip-hip, hurrah! We all like to hear you are a-ok, going along "routinely", passing milestones with ease but also fortitude.
Posted by: Annette | 08/11/2017 at 08:40 AM
Knit on (and live on) in confidence and hope! Congratulations!
Posted by: Pam | 08/12/2017 at 11:55 AM
Wonderful news. I really enjoy your blog. You put yourself out there, try new things, get on with life. Here's to an entire lifetime of routine check-ups. Congratulations.
Posted by: Barbara S | 08/12/2017 at 08:30 PM
What fabulous news! To be disease-free all these years. And such a blessing that your mind is free ( at least most of the time) of the lingering fear of cancer's return. Let us pray that continues.
Posted by: Susan | 08/14/2017 at 10:31 PM