Not Quite Right
03/30/2017
Today is my birthday.
Ever since the whole cancer thing, I really embrace and celebrate my birthday each year. Because MORE birthdays? That's a Good Thing!
But . . . I'm struggling a bit with this birthday. Not because I'm suddenly a year closer to 60. Not because AARP keeps sending me special membership offers. Not because my knees creak a little more each day.
It's because this is my first birthday without my Mom.
And I didn't quite expect this. We always celebrated my birthday together in some way -- but not usually in a big way. So it's not like I miss specific family traditions or annual rituals or anything.
It's just . . . without my Mom, I wouldn't have a birthday. Yet here I am, having a birthday without my Mom.
I'm still going to do my best to embrace and enjoy and celebrate my birthday today. But I'll be doing it with a broken heart.
It's my birthday. But it's not quite right.
Ah Kym, Happy Birthday! This will be a tough one, I know. Wishing you joyful memories of fun times and the touch of your Mom's love.
Posted by: Vera | 03/30/2017 at 08:21 AM
Any "first" without our mom's is a tough one. Sending you a day of beautiful memories, little moments of remembrance, and joyful thoughts while you celebrate your special day in a new way.
Posted by: margene | 03/30/2017 at 08:39 AM
Thinking of you , wishing you a Happy Birthday, and that your loving memories of birthdays with your mom and her love for you can soothe your broken heart. XO
Posted by: Bonny | 03/30/2017 at 08:47 AM
Sending a big hug your way today and hopes that thoughts of your Mom keep you smiling through most of the day. xo
Posted by: Patty | 03/30/2017 at 09:13 AM
Oh I do understand how you are feeling - it's both weird and hard. But - if your mom is anything like mine, she would be really upset if you didn't enjoy YOUR day, so I hope you can finds some things to make you smile, so that she will smile too.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Mine was a few weeks ago, and I went just past 60 - so you are younger than I am, does that make you smile??? ;-)
xo
Posted by: Bridget | 03/30/2017 at 09:32 AM
On this bittersweet day, I wish you more sweet than sad. Hugs.
Posted by: claudia | 03/30/2017 at 09:46 AM
Happy Birthday, Kym. I hope that good memories of your mom will help you enjoy the day.
Posted by: Debbie | 03/30/2017 at 09:52 AM
I'm sorry that this birthday is sad and (I hate to tell you) but just know that birthdays will always be a little bit different now. But here's what I also know: acknowledging that it's different and allowing yourself to feel sad about it will make you feel better in the end. I promise.
Posted by: Carole | 03/30/2017 at 10:15 AM
Kym - Holding you and your Mom in the Light on this important day.
Posted by: Anne | 03/30/2017 at 10:39 AM
Hugs and best wishes to you, and sweet memories of your Mom.
Posted by: Cheryl S. | 03/30/2017 at 10:57 AM
Happy Birthday Kim, sending hugs xxx
Posted by: Sue N | 03/30/2017 at 12:22 PM
HB2U! I bet your mom enjoyed your birthdays every bit as much as you did.
Posted by: kmkat | 03/30/2017 at 12:45 PM
This is a difficult Birthday but I hope you will accept the off balance feeling of today knowing all the joy in your life. Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Geri | 03/30/2017 at 01:24 PM
Happy Birthday Kym!! My mom loved birthdays (none more than her own - presents!!) and we always celebrated together, too. They keep happening, but they'll never be the same. Love & hugs to you!!
Posted by: Vicki | 03/30/2017 at 01:37 PM
Lots of love to you.
Posted by: Kathy | 03/30/2017 at 01:48 PM
Bittersweet Birthdays are not fun. Sending you so much love today and I hope that amidst the tears, there was laughter - laughter with your dear husband, with your fantastic kids, and with your friends - near and far.
Posted by: AsKatKnits | 03/30/2017 at 05:46 PM
Happy Birthday, Kym! It's never the same after we lose a mother, but the bittersweet news is you get to take up the torch and share her stories with your children. My mum was the oral record keeper. She knew everybody's birthdate. It was quite remarkable, really. All from memory, not a notebook or calendar. Now I tell her birthday stories to my kids and my husband to help keep her with us as time goes on. It's not easy being without a mother, I feel your loss; but I know you will keep the shine on her memory always.
Posted by: Kim | 03/30/2017 at 08:48 PM
Totally get how you feel, Kym. My mom and I could, and did, talk about all kinds of things. Phone calls were usually an hour long. At least you had her company for many years.
Posted by: Helen | 03/30/2017 at 08:50 PM
Kym, this year was my first birthday without my dad. It was hard but it was some consolation to me remembering that as long as I'm here a part of him is too. Hope you got to do something kind for yourself today. Best wishes on your new year.
Posted by: Debbie Kuppusamy | 03/30/2017 at 09:23 PM
Happy Birthday with loving memories of your Mom.
Posted by: Melissa | 03/30/2017 at 10:17 PM
Hugs - love is what makes life good, and opens us up to the pain of loss. How lucky you were to have your mom's love.
Posted by: Pam | 03/31/2017 at 02:32 AM
The firsts of everything after a loss is so hard. Thinking of you. <3
Posted by: Manise | 03/31/2017 at 10:33 AM
Sending sweet (belated) birthday wishes and hugs! there are so many "firsts" and each one, I know, hurts. Your mom was certainly with you ... just in a much different way. xo.
Posted by: Mary | 04/01/2017 at 07:27 AM