Today is my birthday.
Ever since the whole cancer thing, I really embrace and celebrate my birthday each year. Because MORE birthdays? That's a Good Thing!
But . . . I'm struggling a bit with this birthday. Not because I'm suddenly a year closer to 60. Not because AARP keeps sending me special membership offers. Not because my knees creak a little more each day.
It's because this is my first birthday without my Mom.
And I didn't quite expect this. We always celebrated my birthday together in some way -- but not usually in a big way. So it's not like I miss specific family traditions or annual rituals or anything.
It's just . . . without my Mom, I wouldn't have a birthday. Yet here I am, having a birthday without my Mom.
I'm still going to do my best to embrace and enjoy and celebrate my birthday today. But I'll be doing it with a broken heart.
It's my birthday. But it's not quite right.