A Different Kind of Christmas

For me, this could easily be one of those sad, blue Christmases.  You know . . . the ones they sing about in holiday country songs?

After all, this will be the first Christmas without my mom.  AND - for the first year ever, neither of my kids will be home for the holiday.  It's just sort of . . . layer upon layer of Christmas bummer.

But I decided . . . NO.  It will not be a sad, blue Christmas!

It will be hard.  

It will certainly be different.  

But it will NOT be a bah-humbug kind of season.

Over the years, I have gotten pretty attached to (entrenched in?) the ways we celebrate Christmas.  Traditions we all enjoy, sure.  But traditions that are hard to change --- even when the only reason we're still doing them ... is because we've always done them.

So.  This year provided me with . . . the reason, the space, and - yes - the permission to evaluate and re-think HOW I celebrate Christmas.

I've cut back on pretty much everything.  Decorating.  Gifting.  Shopping.  Wrapping.  Going.  For the first year in . . . well, decades . . . I have empty space and time in my December calendar.  I don't have a tree -- and I don't miss it a bit.  I'm not constantly on-the-go -- and it feels great.

In this year that I could easily NOT have any Christmas spirit at all, I'm finding that I actually have more than I ever expected.

It's hard, there's no denying it.  I nearly broke down the other day when I found the perfect gift for my mom . . . and then remembered I didn't need to shop for my mom this year.

But I'm enjoying the lights and the music and the decorations - and my memories.  I'm looking forward to what's next -- and how we can create a "new" way to celebrate this year. 

Christmas?  Yeah.  It's going to be different.

But it's going to be okay.

==========

Today's post is part of Think Write Thursday.  Read what other bloggers have to say today here.  And sign up here to receive the weekly prompts.

 

 

Comments

[Mary]

Oh Kym, reading this brings tears to my eyes. I love what you're doing to embrace the season... slowing down and taking time to savor it. Sending wishes for peace and light - and a big hug!

[AsKatKnits]

Ditto the tears here as well! And, you are right - slowing down and taking time to savor make it different - and decidedly better! Much love to you and Tom XOXO

[Debbie]

My eyes filled with tears when I read this...I did the same thing with a gift for my mom a few weeks ago. Wishing you & your family peace & joy this Christmas.

[Bonny]

Sending you virtual hugs and high-fives! The hugs because I'm there with you without either one of the kids, and I remember what for me was an awful year of "firsts" without my mother. But the high-fives are for finding the new ways and traditions, and thank you for talking about how freeing it is! I've done exactly the same cutting back, and while I'm still finding my way in the newness, I'm also enjoying it, like you. Here's to savoring memories while looking forward.

[Vicki]

I can hardly believe that this is the third Christmas without my mother -- the third Christmas I haven't been roped into helping her bake for a cookie exchange or something!! Time marches on and the times just keep on changing. I'm glad you're finding your way and making it work -- spectacularly -- for YOU! Peace, love & joy to you & your family.

[Carole]

We will have the kids over on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, as always, but for the first time in our married life Dale and I will be waking up to just each other on Christmas morning. It will be different, for sure. But I think it will be different in a good way. The seasons of our lives are definitely changing and the best we can do is embrace them and love them for what they offer.

[Susan]

We're having a stripped down Christmas this year, too. I think it's easier (and better) to do what feels right and what you are able to do, than to force things or overextend yourself and end up feeling unhappy about the holiday. I'm kind of thinking of this year (our first Christmas without our son) as a year to be kind to ourselves, to feel the feels, to roll with whatever happens, and to come through with a better understanding of how we want to celebrate future holidays in a way that feels right.

[Susan]

Your Christmas plans sound wonderful to me. I'm so sorry you lost your mom this year. It must be hard. I know several people who lost close family members during the course of 2016. I don't want to send them a Christmas card (I can't find any that acknowledge that the recipient may be having a difficult time), but I hope a 'thinking of you' card will be welcome. Hugs.

[Jo]

You have captured the essence of Christmas. It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness and forget the spirit and cosy joy of Christmas. You are celebrating your mother's life with your memories and your lasting love.

[Bridget]

The very first year that we couldn't go home for Christmas loomed so dreadfully large for me. My parents were both already gone, so I'd gotten through Christmases without them, but had never had one without being with any of my family at all.

It was different. It was lovely. It was sometimes sad, and wistful. Lonely in some ways. But it was still Christmas, and I still enjoyed it.

And now, it's our Christmas every year. And though I occasionally wish we could still all be together, I'm happy for the memories and photos of when we were.

I hope your Christmastime continues to be enjoyable, and most of all, merry!

[margene]

The Holidays can be a difficult time, as we all have traditions that are hard to change or let go. Over the years our Christmases have change so many times. This year, for the first time ever, we will be all alone. Our friends are going through challenges and changes, too. We are making plans for a lovely day, a different day. Much love, sweet Kym.

[Nathalie]

When we found ourselves living in a different city with little ones, and no extended family, i discovered it was a unique opportunity to keep the traditions I wanted to and to leave aside the others. The result was a Christmas that felt more authentic to the four of us, something never forgotten.

The first Xmas without your mom though, that's going to be hard. Warm and best wishes ...

[Lee Wittenstein]

This is my first Christmas without my mom too. And it is hard and sad. She was the most magical Christmas celebrator! At the same time, I am also embracing ways to shake things up a little. To let go of some of the traditions that don't mean so much anymore. Thanks for sharing this with us and I hope your holiday is as merry as can be!