Gold Rush
11/28/2016
28/30
Tom is contributing to NaBloPoMo this year by writing the following "guest blog." Enjoy!
Jenny, top dog in the pack, the sheriff, not inclined to suffer fools or foolishness. Attitude. But, beneath it all she is a lab mix, always on the make for food, insatiable.
Just before Thanksgiving, Kym has placed chocolate kisses, a mix of plain and almond in a dish on the low-slung coffee table. Amid regular visits to the dish, I find it empty and so transfer the partial bags to refill the dish, pleased with the abundance of almond in the mix.
Next day, a full dish, but all plain, no almond. Strange.
Later, an empty dish. I confer with Kym and we conclude that the dogs have been into the kisses. Interrogation begins. Jo Jo looks vaguely guilty but clueless (as usual); Jenny however looks Very guilty. That was a lot of chocolate, and what’s more, there are no wrappers around meaning that the foil was part of the feast.
I know that dogs are sensitive to chocolate. Caffeine and related compounds like theophylline. But milk chocolate is better than dark, less dangerous. But what of the wrappers? I am also concerned about blockage. We wait.
Over the next couple days Jenny coughs up a few soggy foil wrappers, but not enough to account for what was eaten ("missing mass" in technical terms). Then, Jenny appears to have a bowel movement out back one night. When she’s done, I take a flashlight to investigate. I find it and…EUREKA! A silver-encrusted nugget fit for a miner’s dream. Striated veins of glittering ore run through the turd; Together with the relieved dawning that this too shall pass.
Tom...clearly you've missed your calling. Silver encrusted nuggets will never be seen the same. :-)
Posted by: Patty | 11/28/2016 at 08:23 AM
I tried to not burst out laughing at the "EUREKA," but I was completely unsuccessful once I read, "this too shall pass" This gets my vote for Best NaBloPoMo - ever! LOL
Posted by: AsKatKnits | 11/28/2016 at 08:26 AM
This is amazing.
Posted by: Bridget | 11/28/2016 at 10:32 AM
This is the best post about dog poop that I've ever read! Thanks, Tom (especially for "this too shall pass")! Can I book you now as a guest blogger for next November?
Posted by: Bonny | 11/28/2016 at 10:57 AM
It is a good morning for a good laugh! Dogs are just like us -- they love stuff that's not good for them!
Posted by: Jo | 11/28/2016 at 10:58 AM
Oh, Tom. Well done.
Posted by: Carole | 11/28/2016 at 11:13 AM
Ok just spat my tea across the room ! Hilarious x
Posted by: Sue N | 11/28/2016 at 11:39 AM
OMG... "missing mass." Thanks for all of that. ;)
Posted by: Vicki | 11/28/2016 at 11:58 AM
Oh the memories of waiting for something or other to pass. Your words create the visual SO WELL!
Posted by: margene | 11/28/2016 at 12:07 PM
perfect ending - now I would suggest a higher placement of treats in the future
Posted by: sharon | 11/28/2016 at 02:27 PM
oh my goodness - Tom, you can tell a story! (I do hope Jenny isn't much the worse for the experience... )
Posted by: Mary | 11/28/2016 at 09:28 PM
Ahh the things we investigate for the love of our pets!
Posted by: Geri | 11/29/2016 at 06:27 AM
"Dark matter" came to mind...
Posted by: kmkat | 11/29/2016 at 03:46 PM