Okay. True confessions.
I'll admit it: I have no problem whatsoever with . . . profanity.
I think a well-placed . . . expletive . . . can add just the right emphasis and level of meaning. Y'know? Plus. Well. Swearing (out loud) can help diffuse an otherwise frustrating situation.
That said, there's a time and a place for swearing. And when it's NOT the time or the place, here are my favorite substitutes:
- CRAP. As in . . . Full of.
- FREAKIN'. As in . . . How can it take so freakin' long?
- DANG. As in . . . Wow! Can you freakin' believe that? Holy-Moley!
- RATS. As in . . . Oh, DANG! I cannot freakin' believe that!
- HOKEY-PETE. As in . . . Hokey-PETE! Are you freakin' kidding me?
- POOP. As in . . . I really need to get my POOP-in-a-GROUP!
- JERK-WAD. As in . . . That jerk-wad! He just cut me off!
- SON-OF-A-GUN. As in . . . It hurt like a SONofaGUN!
- TICKED. As in . . . I am SO ticked off right now.
- HOLY-MOLEY. As in . . . Holy-Moley! That's some serious crap!
How about YOU? What do you say . . . when you can't say what you'd really like to say?