Last week, I was waiting for my manicure appointment, and my "nail gal" was running late. The receptionist at the salon brought me a cup of tea . . . and the latest issue of Glamour magazine.
Now, I don't know about you all, but I haven't looked at a Glamour magazine since my early 20s.
Let me assure you: Nothing has changed! (I haven't missed a thing.)
There was a time, long, long ago, when I couldn't WAIT for the newsest issue of Glamour magazine to arrive. Back in high school and college, I would pour over the trends . . . and the fashion dos-and-don'ts . . . and the hair and beauty tips.
Get Christie Brinkley's sun-kissed cheeks in 3 easy steps!
Get Cheryl Tiegs' bright eyes in 8 easy steps!
Follow Cybil Shepherd's exercise routine for that natural glow - in 5 easy steps!
I always tried it. Because . . . maybe THAT was the trick to being beautiful and getting a boyfriend! (Yes. I totally bought in to that social construct when I was a teen.) In the end, I was always disappointed. Because, no matter how faithfully I followed the steps, I still looked Just Like Me. (Ultimately, I became Just Fine with looking Just Like Me. And I got a boyfriend, too!)
So. Anyway. There I sat last week. 30 years later. Waiting. With my tea and a Glamour magazine. Turning pages. Snorting to myself about what a worthless magazine it (still) is. Laughing at myself for even flipping through the pages.
And then I saw it: Copy Olivia Wilde's Sexy Smoky Eye in 5 easy steps!
(Seriously. Click here.)
I couldn't look away! Out of a deeply-ingrained curiosity about how-the-beautiful-do-it I checked out the sexy, smoky eye. And then, well ... you know, I had to try it!
The very next morning, I assembled my "tools". . .
and launched the 5 easy steps to achieve Olivia's eye!
I had a grand time . . . outlining and blending and shadowing and highlighting.
But after Step 5, you know what?
SAME AS EVER!
(Just Like Me.)
Despite the detailed instructions and illustrated how-tos, Olivia Wilde's sexy, smoky eye (I guess she only has ONE) are the exclusive property of Olivia Wilde . . . and her genetics . . . and her make-up artist. The sexy, smoky eye will remain elusive for regular people.
And I'm Just Fine with that!