Dear Trusty Subaru Outback:
I just want to thank you for your faithful service thus far this winter. Your all-wheel drive simply cannot be beat! And I don't know what I'd do without your heated seats. Even your back-up camera has proven useful as I negotiate the wall of snow at the end of my driveway (especially on garbage pick-up day). But there's one thing I really want from you . . . that you just can't give me right now. Yeah. You know it, baby. I want to open up your sunroof again!
I am sorry that I didn't listen to you when you gave me early warning signs of your stress. And I'm even sorrier that I tried to push you when I knew you were down. I promise that I'll rest you for a few more days. I'll apply ice regularly. I'll keep doing my eccentric heel drops. I'll even wear shoes in the house (even though it causes my entire being to shrivel just a little). Is that good enough for you? Can we move beyond this now?
Dear Mark Torregrossa, MLive Chief Meteorologist:
Yeah, I saw your latest post over on MLive. You said the words "hint of Spring" in your weather forecast. I heard you. You said "warming trend." You mentioned "temperatures above the freezing mark." I hope you're not just teasing, Mark. Because I couldn't bear it.
Dear Mackinac Bridge Drivers:
I don't know how you do it. The lakes are frozen over up there. It's windy. (Really windy.) The snow is blowing hard. The bridge is 5 miles long. (A scary 5 miles in even the best of weather.) Whenever I think the driving down here is bad, I'm just going to remember y'all . . . driving over that bridge . . . and be happy that I don't have to do it.
Have a great weekend, everyone!