I have always loved September.
When I was a little girl, I loved school. In fact, the first day of school was right up there with Christmas Day for me. (That - and my family's annual trip to the Kiddie Land amusement park.) Big excitement! It was all so fresh . . . and new!
I loved summertime, too. . . don't get me wrong. But by the time the end of August rolled around, I was ready for the NEW and the CHANGE that September represented. I was ready for structure. I was ready for school. I was ready to get to work!
Come September, I had a new teacher and a new grade and a new classroom. I got new shoes and a new lunchbox and some new dresses. Best of all . . . I got new school supplies. I loved buying - and then organizing - my new school supplies. Crayons. Big Chief pads. Pencils. A big eraser. A ruler. A new pencil box.
The academic calendar -- September through May with a restorative break for the summer - has resonated with me since first grade. Even when I was out of school (finally. . .) and working (before I had kids on their own academic calendar), I felt that Pull of September! For me, September seems to be the most appropriate time to launch new goals and plans and resolutions. I understand the whole New Year's thing. . . the turning over of the annual calendar and the fresh January feeling that comes with it. But. . . it's still the middle of winter. Nothing is changing, really. Except the number of the year.
So. . . for me, September = Fresh Start.
Or. . . it DID.
Until 2008.
In 2008, September started to represent something altogether different for me. It was in September 2008 that my cancer nightmare grabbed hold and wouldn't let go. It was in September 2008 that I entered the horrible period when I knew that something was terribly wrong with me. But I didn't know what . . . yet. But words like. . .biopsy . . . and malignant . . . and lymphoma . . . were in the air.
September 2008 . . . offered no diagnosis. No idea of possible treatment options. No doctor. No notion of extent or prognosis. (That all came in October.) Just the awful. . .
freefall
bottom-of-the-world-dropping-out
clawing at the air for answers
kind of agony. Through all of September. It didn't feel like a Fresh Start. It felt like a nightmare.
In the Septembers that have followed . . . 2009, 2010, 2011 . . . I've slowly come back around. Those first couple of Septembers were pretty tough. I went to The Edge. I plunged over.
Last year, I was much better.
And this year? 2012? Four years later?
I'm feeling the Pull of September in a very strong way. A good way. This year, I feel like dancing at The Edge.
So I bought myself a new box of crayons.
Just to open them up and see their colorful, fresh points . . . all lined up in the box.
My new crayons . . . are a symbol of . . .
new beginnings
a time to set goals
an opportunity to re-group and prepare myself for the next nine months
life . . . moving forward
For the first time in a few years . . . September = Fresh Start!
Again!
This is a wonderful post. I'm so happy you got your love of September back. And there's nothing quite like a fresh box of crayons.
Posted by: Carole | 09/05/2012 at 10:16 AM
I'm glad that September means September again for you.
And...
When you feel like dancing at The Edge..."I Hope You Dance." (Lee Ann Womack)
xo
Posted by: Marilyn | 09/05/2012 at 11:06 AM
Beautiful Post!!
Posted by: nancy | 09/05/2012 at 11:19 AM
Is there anything so wonderful as a brand-new box of crayons? Must be Crayola, though; all others are weak competitors that should be thrown into the cauldron. What are you coloring with them? Did you buy a coloring book to go with them?
September 2008 was when I broke my ankle. A minor inconvenience when compared to your September 2008.
Posted by: kmkat | 09/05/2012 at 11:51 AM
There is NOTHING like a new box of crayons! How perfect!! Simply lovely. I'm so glad you got September back.
;)
Posted by: Vicki | 09/05/2012 at 12:29 PM
Beautiful post Kym. I can smell those crayons from here!
Posted by: Patty | 09/05/2012 at 03:36 PM
Congratulations on getting your old September feelings back. I love crayons, too.
Posted by: Barbara S | 09/05/2012 at 05:08 PM
Wonderful post.
New crayons (and their names) always make me smile, too.
Enjoy the new season.
Posted by: Chiko | 09/05/2012 at 08:52 PM
Good for you - welcome back :)
Posted by: Lesley | 09/05/2012 at 09:19 PM
I am so proud of you and happy for you. Also a little disappointed. Only 24 Crayons?! Slacker. ;^)
Posted by: Cookie | 09/05/2012 at 09:27 PM
Wonderful and inspiring post! And I'm very happy for you!
Posted by: Brenda | 09/06/2012 at 03:16 PM
Congrats for reclaiming your Septembers.
Posted by: Cheryl S. | 09/09/2012 at 05:34 PM